What Is Marriage?
by Mohamad Farhan Huszaimi bin M.Pajar
Many people see that marriage is
important in life. Walljasper says in his “State of the Union” article, “American
domestic policy, . . asked congress to spend $1.5 billion on programs to train
low-income people in the interpersonal skills that will help them get and stay
married” (1). This is because they look at marriage as an important status and
pride for them so that they will not feel guilty about having a child after
they got married. For instance, Muslim guys need to get married first before
they can even touch the women that they want to live with for the whole of
their life. If there is enough proof, a couple who had sex before being married
will be whipped 100 times in front of crowd, and if one of a married couple had
sex with other than the person they married, the punishment is stoning until
they die. On the other side, there are certain people who think marriage is not
important and marriage is just a waste of time because it burdens a person
because they have to give a big commitment and big sacrifices in their life
after they get married. First of all, we need to think, what is marriage?
Marriage is a unification of two hearts, a commitment in a person’s life, and a
level of trust between the couple.
First of all, marriage is a
unification of two totally different hearts. The point here is sharing. After a
person gets married, he or she needs to be a sharing person. The married couple
needs to share everything, including their personal lives and their own
families. After people get married, usually they need to share bed, house, and
feelings. In order to have a successful marriage, the married couple needs to face
challenges in their life together instead of alone. Facing problems in life together
will make married couples solve the problems easily because they will think more
broadly than if they were alone. Couple with successful marriage will be able
to solve problems together, such as which school they should send their
children to and how to raise their children, while unsuccessful married couple will
not be able to solve a problem together because they will keep arguing and usually
end up thinking they are not a match and may divorce. Marriage is sharing in personal
life, and marriage is a unification of two hearts into one.
Marriage is a commitment in also a
person’s life. Married people need to be responsible to their partner. For
instance, before a guy gets married, he can go drink at the bar all day long
from early morning until late night because he still does not have
responsibility to think about anybody except himself. After the man gets
married, he can still waste his time such as going to the bar until late night,
but now he has to be responsible of what are the effects of going to the bar
until late night to his wife, and maybe even a child. A successful marriage
occurs when a person is committed in marriage. For example, a husband who cares
about all the expenses such as car payments and house rents that he needs to
pay in order to protect and make sure that his wife and children are healthy is
a successful husband because the wife and children will be safer and healthier
if they live in a house instead of on the street. A husband should be committed
as the main money earner for his wife and kids to get enough food and shelter
in order to be healthy. On the other side, the wife should know how to take
care of kids so that her children will become better people in the future. A
wife can also be either minor or major financial supporter for her family to reduce
the financial issues in family. Depending on the commitment that each partner
decided, they both need to be committed with their responsibilities. If a
person cannot be committed to his or her partner in the future, they need to
think of a way to do that because commitment is important in marriage. Hence,
marriage is a new commitment in a person’s life.
Furthermore, marriage is a new level
of trust between couple because it is really hard to trust someone even though
the person is someone really close to a person like the person’s family
members. A couple may have developed trust before marriage, but once the couple
has married, the level of trusting is different because a person gives his or
her life to his or her partner, and trusts his or her spouse to take care of him
or her and the children in the future. For instance, if John decides to marry
Jane, that means John trusts Jane to stay with him for the rest of his life and
trusts that Jane will be with him in either tough or easy circumstances. There
should not be any doubt in marriage. A person should not be thinking something
negatively about his or her spouse like thinking that his or her spouse will
date someone else in the future. A successful marriage happens when a husband
and wife can trust each other instead of thinking negatively about one another
because it will lead to a happier marriage. Although sometimes people might not
satisfied with their marriage, like a study done from Rutgers University in the
United States found that couples who stay together are not necessarily
satisfied with their marriages (Walljasper 1), trust will make them feel
better. Thus, because couple needs to believe one another, marriage is a higher
level of trust.
All in all, marriage is a
unification of two hearts, a commitment in a person’s life, and a sacrifice in
a person’s life. People nowadays are scared to get married, but they like to
have sex without marriage. Besides being happy, marriage also brings many
advantages in a person’s life. Studies also show that married people live
wealthier, healthier, and happier lives than before. Then why do people still
not want to get married? Maybe it is that their parents, or the couple
themselves do not believe of the benefits of marriage. Hopefully, people’s
perspective in marriage will change in the future.
Work Cited
Walljasper,
Jay. “State of the Union”. Print.
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